Andacht 23.02.2012
Romans 7,14-25
14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.
16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good.
17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.
19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.
20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good.
22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man.
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
25 I thank God-- through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. (New King James)
For what I am doing, I do not understand. A sentence, that admittedly pops up into my head every now and then. “Oh, what did I do back then? I really don’t know what got into me. I really didn’t act like myself.” As excuses theses phrases are frequently used. But seriously – do we really think someone or something is secretly creeping into our bodies and then using us like a puppet? Is it the devil, the deamon, Sheitan? I probably would be bankrupt, if I had to call an exorcist each and every time these sentences happen to come out of my mouth.
According to Paul the reason for our slight feeling of multiple personality is the following:
For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
We are acting according to two distinct laws: the law of the mind and the law of the body. So, as I understand Paul, it is not a remote, external power which is forcing me to do what I will not to do. But it is a power within me. It is me who is acting, therefore I am totally responsible and accountable for my actions. Hence our sentences of excuse are not sufficient at all. There was nothing that got into me when I - in the very beginning of my stay in Beirut- publically announced that the NEST-Food is the best that entered my mouth for a long time, though I might correct myself now. And actually I pretty much acted like myself, since I always like to exaggerate when I’m in a good mood.
Nevertheless we experience throughout our lives that it is actually quite difficult to determine the moments, when we act totally authentically, when we just behave as we are, when body, mind and soul are forming one unit, not influenced by any external forces.
Usually we praise our good or bests friends by stating that in their company we can simply be who we are.
And in the company of the other people around us we immediately put on our costumes and masks and give in to external forces, who determine every further step we take? Towards my best friends and family I am acting according to the law of my mind and towards rather foreign people the law of my body seizes hold of me?I would doubt that. I am sure that whoever encounters me in whatever situation will get to know a piece of my very own self. Knowing that we are creatures who highly depend on community and human relationships, I would rather think that our character, our very self and our genuine nature is determined by action, reaction and interaction.
I guess you all would agree that all the various persons you are sharing your life with would come along with very distinct characterization of you. As for me, I think some of my friends would evaluate me as a very disciplined, ambitious and sincere person. Others would stress the total opposite. They would tell you stories of our last legendary evening out or our last holiday trip. Some would evaluate me as inhibited and rigid, others would use words like laid-back or uncomplicated. No wonder that we sometimes have a hard time finding and defining ourselves, for example when we are asked for our worst or best features during an application interview. Not that different people are only perceiving us differently because of their own special situation, I’m pretty sure that our behavior varies a lot when we are facing different people - sometimes intentionally, sometimes subconsciously. Sometimes we want to please others; sometimes we just assimilate out of sympathy or convenience without any deeper intentions; sometimes we actively oppose somebody to demarcate ourselves.
In the last semester I experienced that especially when you are entering new surroundings, a new environment you start to rethink who and how you would like to be, or who and how you really are. I remember a conversation, I think with Kathy, in the beginning, that we both had the thought that with this junction point of going into another country, leaving our old lives and friends, we could grasp the opportunity and start being someone completely other than we were before. I thought about starting to be unorganized, chaotic and spontaneous. Stop sport, stop ambition, maybe start being a vegetarian, stop drinking beer, start being a glorious singer, stop loving How I met your mother and German movies and becoming a huge fan of Star Wars, Formula 1 and Katy Perry? None of these ideas were fulfilled. Why? Because that simply doesn’t suit to me.
But what I acknowledged is that the people, who I got to know at NEST, or in Beirut in general would characterize me completely different than my friends back in Münster or Frankfort or than my family would do. Just because they saw and acknowledged other pieces of myself, which maybe somehow reacted with their very own pieces of character. It sounds like a chemical reaction and somehow it is. The whole is more than the sum of its parts – you say.
It is interesting to see that even Paul experiences this human phenomenon. In his letter to the Corinthians he writes: But in whatever anyone is bold-- I speak foolishly-- I am bold also.
22 Are they Hebrews? So am I. Are they Israelites? So am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? So am I.
23 Are they ministers of Christ?-- I speak as a fool-- I am more: in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often.
And if we furthermore take Jesus ministry into consideration, we notice that he can act very differently towards the various characters he encounters, too. He is gracious and generous with the excluded tax collectors, he shows patience with his ignorant disciples when he calms the storm, he is forgiving with the sinners such as the adulteress, but he can also be furious and raging if he faces the injustice of the Pharisees or the misbehavior of the money changers in the temple, he can even be discouraged and weak when he prays to his father shortly before his death.
As a little mid-term evaluation I would now like you to think of two character traits of yourselves which you noticed to become more important and common with the encounter of all the new people and circumstances you faced throughout the last semester. One character trait which you would evaluate as positive, which you would like to keep for the years to come and maybe one, which you would rather get rid of in the next semester. To set you in a contemplating mood I will run a Diashow.
During my trip through Jordan I was astonished by the sight of the nature, as creation of God, changing its faces and appearances so variously in only one country: the sandy desert of Wadi Rum, the rocky Dana Nature reserve, the enormously green landscape of the North. It happens to fit to my topic and so I will show you some of the pictures we took.
Even God our heavenly father, reveals himself in different shapes and forms, shows different faces and countenance: he appears as dangerously luminous fire, a pillar of clouds or a burning bush; in the shape of three men addressing Abraham, as an old man toward Daniel, as an incomprehensible and malign executor in the book of Iob, as a judge, as an arbitrating advocate, as a loving father and a remote, impersonal entity sometimes. You could list a dozen of other characteristics and faces, which people use to describe their experiences and encounter with God. So even God acts differently towards different people, has no one absolute definable nature – at least we are incapable of determining one.
And in the end I guess there is nothing bad of showing different faces, having in some way a multiple character. It guarantees that you are open for change, for improvement and growth. I guess 10 years ago I would have characterized myself in a very different way than I would do now.
The only important thing we should be aware of is that God is the only one knowing our real nature and character. Our essence of being. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Facing him we can actually be who we really are, even more than we are able when we are in the company of our best friends. Sometimes this is a bit terrifying, since we have to acknowledge that God then is the only one who is able to judge us and surely will do, but at the same time it is tremendously relieving and liberating. We can finally stop pleasing or opposing people, just to hold up a certain image that we created of ourselves. Furthermore we don’t even have to please God with our actions and our behavior because he knows our mind, although our body sometimes seems to act according to a strange and absurd law. One quote of the OT happened to accompany me my whole life, maybe that’s why I chose it as a confirmation motto: It is in 1 Sam 16,7 and reads:
For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.